For Centuries, Man Has Longed To Destroy His Nuts

So, with the war on terror decisively won and Osama bin Laden behind bars, the FBI has turned to it's next targets - pornographers. Fortunately, the FBI actually seems to realize how useless this is:

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Résumé, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."

Hey, none of that - I'm sure the women would have to recuse themselves too. I mean, if we're going after what one, two, or many adults do or read about in the privacy of their own homes, we're casting a pretty wide net.

I wonder what Clarence Thomas' vote will be at the inevitable Supreme Court trial?

Isn't there some Bizarro world I can hide in until 2009?