People Say the Silliest Things

Three Cases:

• First: On Saturday, Vicki and I were watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. At one point, John Rhys-Davies begins singing. Vicki, apparently excited by a singing scotsman (and who isn't?) exclaims: "Ooh! He's singing from the PMS Pinafore!" Yes, that's what she said.
• Second: Jon, a coworker of mine whose knowledge of statutory rape laws is too detailed for my comfort, commented on our respective attires by claiming that he looked like the KGB, whereas I looked like the IRS. After my confused demand for clarification he says: "You know, the backpack, the tocque that almost looks like ski mask..." Me: "Oh sweet monkey jesus - do you mean the IRA?" Jon: "IRS, IRA, same thing."
• Third: I read this a few days ago, and I can't seem to escape it. It follows me in my mind. I can't look at a cash register without thinking, in the words of a friend: "Slash-owned."