1) Bush administration to order America destroyed. No, really.
2) Government of Niger (last seen not selling Uranium to Saddam Hussein) cancels slavery emancipation, instead claims there are no slaves in Niger. Abraham Lincoln wakes from his grave, feasts on brains, plans to march Union Army to Niger. Lincoln upset that zombies can't book passage to Niger, that the Union army no longer exists, and that he's a zombie. Everything except the first sentence is false. Bet you wish everything was false, don't you?
I know why you people come here... the zombie fiction. It's all about the Zombies. Not that I can hold a candle to Shaun of the Dead...
(By the way: If Lincoln were alive today you know what I think would piss him off the most? The Republican Party. Oh, how the "Party of Lincoln" has fallen.)
So, new contest: Name a historical figure, and what about the modern world would piss them off the most? 1000 Dymaxion Points to the winner!
(Dymaxion Points not redeemable or refundable for cash. Offer void in Quebec, Ontario, and Belgium.)
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4 comments:
Hmm.... how about Marx? Not only did the international proletariat revolution not take hold, but it ended up spawning it's own sexy version of Imperialism. Meanwhile his own homeland, which was supposed to be the ideal birthplace for said revolution, skipped the idea completely and just went for the Totalitarianism. Then half of it only bothered to try out the whole Communist thing because the Russians got there first and made them do it. Then the whole thing went down in history as having been "defeated" by some half-rate actor. I guess it's still moping about in some corners of the globe, but still...
Or for that matter, how about Adam Smith? I'm real sure this is exactly what he had in mind. *cough-cough*bush*cough*enron-mon-santo-microsoft
*cough*haliburton-AOL-TimeWarner*
That cough could go on for a while, so in the interest of my lungs I'll stop.
Or lessee, um, Idunno... Jesus?
I'm sure I don't have to explain that one....
oh wait. he already came back from the dead. took off pretty quick though, guess he wasn't digging that whole zombie thing.
Well, if he stuck around in Russia he'd be ok. Bars don't have to close there anytime. Ever.
That and you can buy booze from street kiosks. Like a newsstand but with gin & tonic in a can. Business folk in their suits stop off for a beer at 9 a.m. on their way to work.
I dunno... it's a toss-up between Adam's "Zombie Jesus" and Max's "Violent Alcoholic".
I'm glad we can have such enlightened debates.
(Yes, I know Zombie Jesus was the least of Adam's entries, but I can't stop with the Zombies. "Eat of this bread, for it is my braaaaaaainnns.")
I do find it noteworth that the two major entries are Russia-related.
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