Doing My Part For National Disunity

This comes from Malina, who's french so it's okay:

There are two Quebecois hunters who have been lost in the woods for weeks and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for some form of salvation or something similar, they suddenly spot, through the brush, a peculiar looking tree off in the distance.

As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Jacques" says the first hunter "Dat's a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!" "You're right, mon ami!" says Henri. So Jacques goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the forest floor and calls across to the wounded Jacques. "Jacques!! Jacques!! Que ce qui se passe?"

With his dying breath Jacques calls out... "Ugh, run, mon ami, run!!

Dat's not a Bacon Tree!"
"Dat's......"
"Dat's......"

You're going to love this...

"Dat's......... a.... Ham bush!!