Saturday, February 26, 2005

Paul Cellucci: Assclown

Ahem. Could you repeat that, Mr. Hack Blowhard Crony Cellucci?
"We don't get it," Paul Cellucci said in Toronto. "If there's a missile incoming, and it's heading toward Canada, you are going to leave it up to the United States to determine what to do about that missile. We don't think that is in Canada's sovereign interest."
First off, you don't get a say on Canada's sovereign interest.
  • Number of votes the Liberals got in the last election: 4,951,107.
  • Number of votes George Bush got in Canada: 0.
  • Number of votes Paul Cellucci got anywhere outside of Massachussetts: 0.
  • Number of open, fair elections Paul Martin has won: 1. Same number, for Bush: 0.
With that cleared up, let's move on to matters of more substance: Currently, the US has no means to determine what to do about Cellucci's entirely fictional missile, either. This new system changes that fact not one whit. Say it with me everybody: THE SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK.

Now, for those who've been paying attention, this isn't the first time Cellucci's gotten the vapours at Canada's sheer, unmitigated gall. Back when we decided not to take a giant crap on sixty years of post-WWII international law (also known as Canada not invading Iraq), Cellucci said:
“There is no security threat to Canada that the United States would not be ready, willing and able to help with. There would be no debate. There would be no hesitation. We would be there for Canada — part of our family.”
Well, Paul, this is one of the most dysfunctional families in creation then. Americans have attacked Canada three or four times in our history. You ARE a security threat to Canada. Until 1914, the only foreign power to have taken Canadian lives was your country. I'd have to check, but I'd bet no one's taken as many Canadian lives as the US has.

Outside of the US, we can see that Cellucci's claim that is verifiably untrue. Where was the US while Canadians were dying in Europe, protecting the world from Nazi predation?

Where was the US when Canadians were dying in Afghanistan? Oh yeah, killing them.

Gah. Rage tires me. In short: Paul Cellucci = Assclown.

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