My history prof handed out a really funny flow chart today. It's basically a way to avoid sinning if you want to have sex. Here are the necessary preconditions to have righteous sex, according to the Catholic Church:
You must be married - to the person you're having sex with! - for more than three days. Your wife cannot be menstruating, pregnant, or nursing. It can't be Lent, Advent, Easter Week, Whitsum Week, a feast or fast day, Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, or Saturday. It can't be daylight out, you can't be naked (?), you can't be in Church, you must want a child, and you mustn't fondle, kiss lewdly, have oral sex, and only do it once in the missionary position. And try not to enjoy it. And wash afterwards.
What I find interesting is how little time is allotted to an activity that is, after all, necessary to obey God's commandment to be fruitful and multiply. Between the day and time restrictions, you've eliminated the daylight hours of 4 days of the week. Take out time for sleep (say a conservative 6 hours for sleep) and over an entire year there's only a bit over a month's worth of cumulative time to have The Sex. And we haven't even accounted for Lent, Advent, Easter, and Whitsum week - not to mention the menstrual cycle of wives!
Obviously, there's always been a lot of sinful, sinful sex going on.
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