So, my employer has recently redoubled it's efforts to root out employee theft. Not theft from employees, you understand - my employer does that every hour I work there. No no, my employer in obviously concerned about theft by employees.
So there's a big poster in the back room that says we could face 10 years in prison if we're caught stealing from the company. And just to make sure we get the message, the company promises to use all the means at its disposal to convict us. Including, and I absolutely love this phrase, "all the tools of truth" to prove that they've been stolen from.
"Tools of truth."
Never mind the feeling that my employer seems to presume I'm a criminal. I'm beginning to feel like I'm living in Brezhnev-era Communism, where everyone but me is engaged in the most rampant corruption imaginable, but I'm the one signing my confessions at a show trial.
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