Saturday, May 27, 2006

Ancient History

Via Suburban Guerilla:
British Prime Minister Tony Blair has appealed for more international support for Iraq and urged quick reform of world bodies such as the UN, World Bank and IMF to tackle future crises such as Iraq....

"The war, I know, split the world. The struggle of Iraqis for democracy should unite it," said Blair in a foreign policy speech at Georgetown University....

"I don't want to repeat or to reopen past arguments. I want to advocate a new concord to displace the old contention," said Blair, who visited Baghdad this week to meet the new government.

Blair said nations may not agree with the original decision to invade Iraq, be critical of mistakes made by the coalition or wonder if it was all worth the sacrifice.

"But surely we must all accept this is a genuine attempt to run the race of liberty," said Blair.
SCENE OPENS: GEORGE, TONY, JACQUES, and three exchange students, VLAD, GERHARDT and HU are all walking down the street. All are young men, up to no good. However, GEORGE is by far the best-armed of the bunch. TONY is GEORGE's best friend. They pass a convenience store.

GEORGE: Hey, let's go knock over that convenience store!

TONY: Hell, yeah! It'll be great!

JACQUES, HU, VLAD, AND GERHARDT all exchange puzzled looks.

JACQUES: Um... what exactly have you guys been smoking?

GEORGE: Well, why not? I mean, I heard that the guy who runs that convenience store slapped your sister, Jacques!

JACQUES: What? When?

GEORGE: This morning, man!

JACQUES: Dude, my sister's out of town. That couldn't have happened. Why you lyin'?

VLAD: I am thinking this is bad idea. George and Tony just wanting to make trouble.

GEORGE: Who asked you, Commie? C'mon guys, we'll split the take. Honest.

GERHARDT: That's not the point. You don't know if that guys has a gun or not. Hell, you don't even know if there's any money in that safe!

TONY: You guys need to think big picture here: With the money that's in that store, we could all buy ourselves houses, and sweet cars!

HU: Dude, it's a convenience store. What do you think, they've got a billion dollars in there? Besides, I've done this before, and it never ends well. I still can't walk through Little Tibet alone...

JACQUES: Don't get me started about how much the Algerians hate me...

VLAD: Lousy Chechens.

GERHARDT: You guys all know my problems. I'm outta here.


GEORGE: C'mon Jacques, this'll be fun. You comin'?

JACQUES: Yeah, I'll join you when my sister gets back. Dumbass.


Shots ring out. TONY and GEORGE start screaming, and the owner is heard yelling.

OWNER: Hand over the money?! It's all about the Cheneys, bitches!

GEORGE and TONY stagger out of the store, bleeding profusely from their faces.

GEORGE staggers towards JACQUES: I... regret... nothing...

TONY: Dude... give me a hand.. call an ambulance...

JACQUES: Why should I? You guys were retarded to do that.

TONY: Man, why you hatin'? That's all in the past. You gotta live in the present!

TONY and GEORGE fall over, dead. JACQUES walks away, whistling.

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