- An article about American food subsidies claims that Bush has proposed cutting food subsidies because "he's seen the light" and is trying to help the third world. Bullshit. He's proposing cutting food subsidies because it will never pass Congress. This way, he looks like a deficit hawk, but he knows that the Republican party won't actually take a hit in the mid-term elections in 2006. It's like saying you're going to cut the deficit by auctioning off Mount Rushmore - it's theatre and nothing else.
- An editorial by Margret Kopala claims that western Canada is the fount of all new ideas and is going to lead the country. As evidence, Kopala cites the upcoming policy conference for the Conservatives. The same policy convention where, moderate Conservatives allege, Stephen Harper and his extremists are stacking the vote in favour of social conservatism. So, as we can see, Kopala is exactly right. There are, after all, no ideas newer then restriciting women's and homosexual's rights! That's right up there with flying cars!
- A letter to the editor complains that as bad climate change will be, harming "our standard of living" by trying to mitigate climate change is off-limits. Because, the fact that Ottawa, Toronto and Montreal had a smog warning in winter for the first time ever is obviously a sign of our unrivalled prosperity! Quick, everybody! Pile in to the SUV and buy something at the mall! Our standard of living depends on it!
Have to stop... eyes bleeding... the newsprint... it burns...
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